Any societal arguments for penis envy have dissolved in the 21st Century, Maria Pawlowska argues.
I was prompted to write on penis envy (or rather the feminist deconstruction of it) by a comment on one of my past posts that basically said that I hate white people and have penis envy. The first statement was so ridiculous I’m not even going to go into it, suffice to say I’m not racist and I don’t hate myself. The second accusation was more interesting. I believed—and was clearly mistaken—that penis envy is now generally seen as the joke that it in fact is, and no one really takes it seriously anymore. Lo and behold, I was wrong. So I thought it might be worth writing a little something on why penis envy is yet another one of Freud’s schemes which may have seemed like a good idea at the time (if you were a serious misogynist), but really has no place in the 21st century.
Let’s start of with a little historical background. Famously, the concept of penis envy is the brainchild of Sigmund Freud. He wrote extensively (and in very convoluted terms) about the envy a little girl experiences when she first sees the male penis or rather, as Freud agreed was more likely, a fellow playmate’s or sibling’s penis. According to him, at the first sighting of the male reproductive organs, girls become immediately and acutely aware of the inadequacy of their own organs and long for the oh-so-wonderful penis. If they can’t come to terms with their penis envy and try to deny it, a number of awful conditions can befall them including lesbianism, frigidity, and nymphomania.
There’s so much wrong with these ideas that it’s hard to know where to begin, but I‘ll start with some of the “mechanics.”
If the penis is seen as a metaphor for male privilege than yes, I could see how women longed for one—especially in Freud’s time, when women were barred from access to higher education and most avenues for professional fulfilment. Women were generally expected to be wives and mothers—birth babies, take care of them, cook, and repeat. Any “worldly” ambitions were judged on a sliding scale from foolish to wrong to immoral and despicable.
But women who were dissatisfied with the roles society imposed likely envied men for their professional, political, and social freedoms. Most likely, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the appearance of their external reproductive organs. But, just for the fun of it, let’s take a closer look at those reproductive organs to see what exactly women are supposed to be so envious of.
The male penis is a versatile organ. It increases in size and stiffens when a man is sexually aroused. It excretes urine and semen through the same opening—pretty neat, right? So what about the female counterpart? There are the two sets of labia that come in all shapes and sizes, the vaginal opening, and—jackpot—the clitoris.
The clitoris is the only organ known to science to have evolved purely to give its owner pleasure. The clitoris (which can grow as long as 13cm, though mostly inside the pelvis) has as many nerve endings as the entire penis. Hence, any particular point on the clitoris is more sensitive than any one part of the penis. Moreover, because an erection is not required for a female orgasm (although arousal also generally leads to increased blood flow to the reproductive organs), women can have multiple orgasms within minutes. Penetrative sex is commonly over once a male has had an orgasm. However, as far as the female orgasm is concerned, the sex only gets better once its happened because the nerve endings are in “alert” mode. Some women even ejaculate when they climax (there is also some evidence suggesting that certain women may actually have an “internal” ejaculation).
So, just to recap: according to Freud, women are supposed to want a penis, because it’s more clearly visible between the legs when its owner is naked and possibly because it’s a “penetrative organ.” That’s all nice and dandy, but women have an organ that is there for the sole purpose of their orgasms and they can grow a human being in their uterus—maybe it’s just me (and Gloria Steinem, actually) but I think that’s pretty awesome. Don’t get me wrong—penises are a great thing! I just can see absolutely no reason to want one personally—I mean, they even invented toilets where women can pee while standing, so really, I’m very happy with my lady parts, thank you very much!
Historically, Freud was a disturbed man who was likely molested as a child and could never quite get his personal life together (the guy cheated on his wife with her sister). His ideas about penis envy came from a place of misogyny and unhappiness. I say it’s high time to move past that and simply enjoy ourselves while making sure our partners (whether they’ve got a different set of reproductive organs or not) are enjoying themselves.
Simple as that—no envy required.
—Photo Chris Makarsky/Flickr
I was 5 the first time I ever saw a penis. The boy was 5 also. It was the classic game of “I will show you mine if you show me yours”. I thought he was going to look something like me. I showed him mine, and he was unimpressed. Then I saw his and thought WOW!. I remember thinking how impressed and surprised I was. Today, I still admire what men have. I don’t find it at all visually unappealing as I sometimes hear women say. Maybe that is because my first memory was one that impressed me rather… Read more »
This comment surprised me. (Read my comment above).
Thank you for your honesty. Despite not being necessarily everyone’s reaction, yours seems to me the most natural one (and so thought Freud, I presume). Not because a penis it’s inherently “superior”, but because it can be “impressive” (especially for a child). It’s like being on a bike and noticing a fast car: I’d rather go with the bike (I love’em), but I have no problem admitting a nice car can be impressive. Who’s denying the possibility of a “penis envy” (please notice the “” 😉 ), IMHO is forgetting the power of something we don’t have (or cannot have).… Read more »
It is interesting that you state your reaction as you do. I have always admired the impressive nature and yes (dare I say it) sometimes attractiveness of the penis. Believe it or not, I have been ridiculed for even finding the male body beautiful to look at, let alone a penis. Before I could be corrupted by societal norms and dictates, my innocence growing up told me that male genitals were something pretty cool and I have always liked them. And yes there were times that I would think of what it might be like to have one. I guess… Read more »
This raises an interesting question about the adoption of clothing. Is Penis Envy Universal, or a poorly considered construct and by product of the clothing industry? Was the invention of cloth a protective mechanism to prevent Penis Envy? I have been looking for any data on Cultural Bias, for or against, Penis Envy. If it is as universal as some assume, I would love the opportunity to investigate by studying various indigenous groups where nudity of infants an children is the norm until pubescence and beyond. If it should turn out that Penis Envy is not Universal, what would replace… Read more »
@Crescendo63
Having a big pair is nice, but I’ll tell you, they aren’t all fun and games. Most physical activity becomes painful and can almost be a handicap at times when competing against men in sports. Getting to play with a nice pair is much better than being the owner of that pair. You don’t have to deal with the pain and the discomfort that goes with them.
That and you can never find a fun or sexy bra in your size, unless you go buy the expensive ones. That sucks.
Yes, I know. 😀
I had plenty of female friends, telling me the pros and cons. 🙂
Mine is mostly a fantasy. And it was an example of envying something I have not.
Anyway, if I was a woman, I’d rather having them big than small. 😉
At least your big pair are not hanging between your legs. All in all I suppose I have major clit envy as it does so much more and isn’t hanging about in danger’s way.
Those believing in literal “penis envy” amongst women are doubtless in the minority. I won’t claim to have statistics, but it is obviously ridiculous and to suggest it is held by even a large minority of men is somewhat insulting to the sex. Whether “penis envy” as a metaphor for “power envy,” or “dominance envy” exists–that’s a separate topic and Maria, I’m sure it would make for an interesting discussion. Do men believe women are power hungry? Do women believe women are power hungry? Are any large factions of feminism, historical or contemporary, preoccupied with the acquisition of power? Is… Read more »
And what about “breast envy”? 😀 Personally I have no “clitoris envy”, but perhaps I would enjoy a big set of tits! 😉 Back to author’s point, her theory is interesting, but her analysis is seriously flawed: she lists all the qualities of the female reproductive organs (and I agree), but Freud’s theory was based on the experience of a little girl (looking at penises first time), when she had no awareness at all about her own organs (many women still don’t have much awareness about them even when adult… 😉 ). The the naive glance of a little child,… Read more »
Being female, I will absolutely say I personally have penis envy.
Women are breadwinner exactly the same way as far as producing for survival is concerned as men are, it is just less praised and noticed. Bust as far as penis is concerned Simone de Beauvoir wrote that penis is a men alter ago that women miss. I am not sure I fully understood that. If she meant man think through his penis what kind of alter ego is that?! Yet may be she just had Freud and his theory in mind?
“If she meant man think through his penis what kind of alter ego is that?!”
One that is easily inflated – and then prone to deflation! Variable in seconds and unreliable.
Some even see it as the Primary Ego, which only makes it worse.
I agree with Johnny on the clitoris envy! Ego balanced with pleasure in a compact form. It’s a marketing dream.
Penis envy may be a myth, but I’m starting to feel a little clitoris envy.
Every clitoris is different and not all women experience multiple orgasms, contrary to popular belief. Some men can experience multiple orgasms. Just depends on the individual! But an orgasm is an orgasm, make no mistake.
To extend Maria’s metaphor, I don’t want a clitoris but I sure wouldn’t mind taking advantage of some of that female privilege.
Its a metaphor Maria, Men wear pants then women start wearing pant. Men are bread winners, then women want to be bread winners, Women are naturally envious they envy the role men play in the society so they gather together under the ideas of feminism and battle guys traditional role. But every thing a man does in this world is for a woman so the woman doesnt have to stress about other less important things than nature has placed on her, Freud was right he might have had some personal flaws but that doesn’t discredit his achievement or minimize the… Read more »
Let’s go through this. Stuff about women doing what men traditionally did: check, true, still struggle for equality, etc. “But every thing a man does in this world is for a woman so the woman doesnt have to stress about other less important things than nature has placed on her…” Huh? Does this include the socially acceptable practices of Freud’s time, like beating your wife? Or are we talking current times, when beating your wife is supposed to be stigmatized and highly illegal? The part of prison that makes it brutal is that you are not free to exercise your… Read more »
Stephanie, I am really impressed with your point of view but let me point out certain examples to you. Yes certain men beat their wifes so equally do certain women beat their husbands. In fact in my lifetime i have seen more women hit their husband than the reverse. What does this say, the dynamics of our society is changing and women are gradually becoming the oppressor. So to say that Freud attempted to rationalize male beating women is wrong. Human beat other human they consider weaker than them and that is not fair. “woman as housewife and caretaker” Women… Read more »
It must be a terrifying world for you men who think that women are on a mission to become the oppressors. What would that be like, to have the vast majority of government, police and criminal authorities, as well as heads of corporations and academic institutions be the opposite sex, one that carries a legacy of oppression against your sex? Men like you, Peter, must be absolutely terrified at the idea! How scary. I don’t envy you that fear. Oh. Wait. I’ve lived in that system my whole life! Good news for you, Peter, reversing thousands of years of oppression… Read more »
Just to clarify, I’m not the Peter above, in fact I’m considering changing my SN on here because I don’t want to be associated with that post. But its important to realised that men do have alot to worry about when it comes to feminism: As a body of theory it often ignores the ways in which women oppress and men are oppressed. As a man seeking equal rights with women, as well as wishing for them to have equal rights to me, its not a pleasant view to see those characterisations worked into the political fabric. That said, feminism… Read more »
Joanna,
You see this (WE,female) vs (Them,male) perspective is very destructive. You seem to ignore that i said no human should terrify another human because they are considered weaker. A modern day man has learned to be passive about his frustration, in anticipation that women would realign their aggressive-we are going to take over the world perspective. Did u say fear? I personally do not feel threatened. Rather i feel empathy towards to oppression women and men who are been oppression feel.
Oh yes I’m sure the upper class white woman has so much to fear from cops and politicians.
I forgot how inane Joanna was
Peter says “Men are bread winners, then women want to be bread winners…”
Bread Winning has nothing to do with genitalia or trousers! It’s about need and responsibility to dependents, if if the only dependent is yourself. A single mother wants to be a bread winner due to Trouser envy?
The rest of the post is such “Phal·lo·cen·tric” piffle and “Ph”allacy, comment on the first part is enough!