Why We Cringe When We See Ourselves On Video

When I started video blogging I so was excited! I shot my first piece to camera,  it looked great, and..

I never used it.

That's kinda ironic, you being a video producer and all..

I know!

I’ve spent the last 10 years encouraging others to use video as a medium to connect and educate, but now I can’t even make my own?

What happened?

I carefully wrote the content. It got shot and edited professionally.

But in the end I couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about publishing the video: I was experiencing the cringe factor.

The Cringe Factor

Why do we feel so uneasy about seeing ourselves on video? 

Well, how about watching a video about it.

The reasons we cringe

If I draw from my own experience and the conversations I have with our clients, there are three reasons we find it challenging to see ourselves on video:

• The way we look.
• The way we sound.
• The way we see ourselves.

1. How we think we look vs how others see us

Most of the time when we see our face, it's in the mirror. The image we see there is actually flipped.

When we see ourselves on video we experience a sudden change of perspective: we see our face the way other people see it.

When we see ‘that face’ that seems weirdly unfamiliar, we experience what psychologists call cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is the experience of seeing something that doesn't align with what we think is true or correct. This mindset is the catalyst for our cringing - it happens in a split second.

2. The way we sound.

When we talk,15% of our voice travels through our skull.

This creates in us the perception of a tone of voice that is quite different from what others hear when we talk.

So when we hear ourselves talk on a recording, our voices sound unfamiliar: thin and high pitched. 

3. The way we think about ourselves - Self talk

When it comes to presenting, we tend to view others in a more positive light than ourselves:

- We judge others by the content: if it’s interesting and relevant. We don’t expect ‘rockstar presenting’.

- We judge ourselves by the delivery: we don’t ‘listen’ to the content.

This perception skews how we assess our own stories and insights. 

What CAN we do about it?

It’s impossible to be objective about ourselves; but we can learn to respond to our feelings in a difference way.

And why we SHOULD do something about it

The cringe factor affects women much more than men.

Although a lot of men we film have a similar reaction to seeing themselves (I’m losing my hair! I look fat!), they still do the interview and let us publish the content.

From my own experience, I see that mature age women in business are more likely to tell us they’re ‘not good on camera’ and point to a younger/ ‘maler’ person to tell their story for them.

Our stories are worth sharing..

Not sharing our stories and knowledge presents a huge loss of opportunity for all of us.

If we allow the cringe factor to guide our decisions, we'll all miss out on opportunities to connect to and learn from each other. 

.. and we all have to learn how to tell them well.

Even seasoned presenters and famous actors cringe when they see themselves.

But they went ahead anyway - and ended up being heard and understood.

Over to you.