A long-married couple Bob and Barbara Montgomery share their wisdom about long marriage.
Robert and Barbara Montgomery were married on May 9, 1948, in Lake Oswego.
Over the years, the Montgomerys have held a variety of jobs, from a flight engineer for blimps in the Navy (Robert) to waitressing from one end of Broadway to the other in Portland (Barbara).
Robert, who will be 92 on Dec. 21, and Barbara, 86, also have been Red Cross volunteers for 26 years. The couple have two children.
The Oregonian sat down with the Montgomerys in their Portland kitchen to learn their secret to a long and happy marriage.
How did you meet?
Barbara:
We met right in the famous Chinese restaurant in Lake Oswego.
Robert:
Log Cabin Lodge. I was lake warden then. We've got a private lake there in Lake Oswego, so they hire a lake warden to patrol the lake in the summer and then outside in the winter. So, it's all women down (at the Log Cabin), besides the Chinese cook. It had a nightclub in back with a dance floor. I would go down with the Lake Oswego police officer and close them up at night and make sure the ladies all got out of there. That's where her sister worked, and (we) met through her. She worked there as a waitress and got (Barbara) to come out, too.
Was it love at first sight?
Barbara:
No, I didn't pay attention to him. (Robert laughs.)
Robert: Oh, yeah! I was attracted to her ... I'd pick her up from the job and take her to where she lived over in East Portland about every night. Then we started going on dates and stuff. Go to drive-ins. That's where it all started out.
Barbara:
We didn't get married until the following year.
What do you remember most about your wedding day?
Robert:
Well, we put it on ourselves. We got the flowers from my mother's garden. And then the church was decorated and all. And her sister helped.
Barbara:
The family was all we had.
Robert:
My mother and father.
Barbara:
Just a small wedding.
Robert:
Probably had about 25 or 30, that's about it.
Barbara:
(Then) we lived in a garage, where you pull down the bed.
Robert:
We went from there down to another house, and I had the other house built. I got a GI loan. My mother had two lots next door to her house. She had been using it for a garden and stuff. I said, "Well, I'll get a loan and build next to it."
How did you get involved with the Red Cross?
Robert:
We got 26 years we've been volunteers for blood drives. I used to work all of Multnomah County and Clackamas County. Now I just work Clackamas County.
Barbara:
He'd take the paperwork, and I would do the snacks.
Robert:
She does the canteen.
Barbara:
I had to watch 'em because they could pass out ... You've gotta keep an eye on them, because they turn white ...
Robert:
And the next thing you know ...
Barbara:
Sometimes we've got to move that bed over so they don't fall on the floor. Sometimes they fall on the floor. And they have to pick 'em up. That's dead weight.
Robert:
The Red Cross always needs help. So I started up.
Barbara:
When he retired, I said, "Let's go and volunteer." We started out with the bags -- labeling the bags and everything. Even sealing the blood -- we did all that.
Robert:
You had to write all the registration forms out by hand.
Barbara:
I enjoy the wonderful people we meet. We have a lot of women (volunteers), more so than men. We don't have very many kids.
Robert:
On a weekend double-drive, we'll do 100 to 120 pints. We usually do 50 to 60 (weekdays) -- it varies ... Ninety or so people will sign up, but a third of 'em don't show up. People forget about it.
Barbara:
The last few months, the drives have been real low.
Robert:
(They) always need (Type) O. They can use that in any emergency.
Northwest
love stories
This is the latest installment in our series featuring inspiring couples who have reached the 50-, 60- and 70-year mark in marriage, as well as Q&As with other notable couples in Oregon and Washington who have remarkable tales to tell.
If you think you know of a couple we should talk to, contact us at
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But you've done other volunteer work as well?
Robert:
When I was working through the church, six of us went overseas to Kalimantan, Indonesia. We converted the phone system from the old plug-in to a dial system. We had a couple of men in our church who were telephone men, and they kind of spearheaded it. This was in a hospital. They took the phones out and did all the lines and put a whole new switchboard in, and sent the phones over.
Barbara:
(Because he was leaving) I had to get my license, at 62 -- with a bunch of kids at West Linn High School. Oh, boy, it was tough (laughs). I had to take care of his mother. So if I didn't pass it, then he wouldn't go (to Kalimantan). I passed. I would take her to the doctor and stuff like that, or to the bank. So I enjoyed that; we got along good.
Was there ever a time you thought your marriage wouldn't last?
Barbara:
Oh, yeah, sure! We had arguments and stuff, but when we come to know the Lord, that was entirely different.
Robert:
Yeah.
Barbara:
We always got along good. But the Lord came into our lives and that made a great difference ... I'll tell you, the church turns out for us. It's amazing. Oh, they loved us.
Robert:
Our regular church was right across from West Linn High School. We had initiated the coffee cart. We opened up every morning at 6:30 till school starts. We served coffee, hot chocolate, milk, doughnuts, cookies, everything like that. Hot cider. And they'd come over there before school, and then go back. We did that for 16 years.
Barbara:
Seventeen years, and this is the 18th year coming up.
Robert:
Albertsons gives us all our doughnuts and their day-old pastries.
Barbara:
Those kids! We had the table loaded, and I'll tell you -- I don't know where they put it!
What is your secret to a long and happy marriage?
Barbara:
Just getting along with one another. Help one another and care for one another. When he gets sick, I help him. When I get sick, he helps me. So that's good.
Robert:
Don't get sick much, thank goodness.
Barbara:
Yeah, he's pretty healthy.
Robert:
Just understanding each other. If something comes up, we just talk it over.
What advice would you give newlyweds today?
Barbara:
Take your time!
Robert:
Take your time and look.
Barbara:
Get to know them before you marry them. That's right. Because a lot of women nowadays, they marry these men and they beat 'em up and stuff like that. It's terrible! But (Robert) was right after me all the time. See, it was love at first sight for him. But not for me. I took my time, you know why? My mother gave me good advice. She said, "Let the man run after you." And so I never got in any trouble. Because she said the woman gets hurt so much. So I took her advice.