Here’s something to really trout-pout about: That selfie habit of yours could be damaging your closest relationships.
People who post a lot of photos on Facebook and other social networks run the risk of alienating friends, family members and colleagues, leading to less supportive bonds, a team of U.K. researchers found.
And selfies, or self-portraits, seem to be some of the most irksome images, said lead researcher Dr. David Houghton.
“People, other than very close friends and relatives, don’t seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves,” Houghton, a marketing lecturer at Birmingham Business School, said in a statement.
“It’s worth remembering that the information we post to our ‘friends’ on Facebook, actually gets viewed by lots of different categories of people: partners; friends; family; colleagues and acquaintances; and each group seems to take a different view of the information shared.”
The study also found that people felt less supported by relationship partners who shared more photos of friends and events than of the family.
People also negatively judged Facebook friends who shared photos of themselves in response to big-brand social advertising campaigns, such as the kind that ask people to submit photos of themselves enjoying a product.
Thanks to better phone technology, selfie-sharing isn’t likely to go away, said Julie Spira, a cyber etiquette expert who was not involved in the research.
“It is narcissistic, but it’s becoming acceptable,” said Spira, author of “Rules of Netiquette.” “The President’s daughter posted a selfie from the inauguration, so why shouldn’t you post from your high school or college graduation?”
Some people may even have a form of anxiety related to social media, constantly checking to see other people’s reactions to what they post. But post too often and you’re likely to turn off the people in your feed, some of whom may only know you professionally or as a loose acquaintance.
“If you’re posting more than three times a day on Facebook, you’re going to irritate people,” Spira said, adding that the rule can stretch a bit on other platforms like Twitter and Instagram. “If one friend is hogging your entire feed, you might unfriend that person because that’s not why you joined.”
With that in mind, here are a few quick tips for sharing without oversharing:
Please, no bikini pics. Just because Rihanna does it, doesn’t mean your friends and family will appreciate yours, said Spira. Constantly evolving privacy settings mean there’s plenty of room for error in locking down that flexing-in-the-bathroom-mirror pic, even for the tech-savvy. “If you don’t think your parents, children or boss should see it, then don’t post it,” Spira advised.
If you’re in a relationship, have the social media talk. Talk to your partner and make sure you’re on the same digital page, said Spira, adding that women in general are more comfortable with frequent posts than men. Keep in mind that your photos may be accessible to your partner’s friends and family as well as yours, and that “harmless” pic of you planting a smooch on your BFF could easily be misinterpreted. Above all, listen to your significant other and respect their wishes. “It’s not worth a breakup because you want to post your latest whereabouts,” Spira said.
If it really is a milestone, by all means, share. Refraining from posting that “I’m sooo tired!” selfie from your morning commute will make the special events — your wedding day, or that time you ran into Ryan Gosling at the coffee shop — stand out more. “If you have something truly amazing post away, because those are milestone events where people want to cheer you on,” Spira said.
tmiller@nydailynews.com
