Doubt on Tap — Are You Comfortable With Who You Are?

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Are You Comfortable With Who You Are?

This is the question that Tom asked and thus started a conversation that was most personal in nature. To be honest, this was such a departure from the norm of our conversations I’m not even sure how to summarize. 

So I won’t.

What I will do is reflect a bit on what it was that happened on Tuesday night because what took place was remarkable and it is something that many people wait their whole lives for. Those of us sitting around that table at the Corner Brewery experienced true community, something authentic and real. 

We had an incredible mix of people that have been talking together over the last few months about the things that matter. Tom’s question opened up some discussion about who we are as people. After Tuesday night I felt as though I knew everyone even more deeply than before. 

I think I was surprised by the level of trust we all have with one another. Wait, let me clarify that, I was surprised by how much Itrusted these folks. As a pastor (yes the guy writing this drivel is a pastor) I often times find it hard to trust people with my heart. I think it’s because in the past that kind of thing has been used against me or twisted to cause me pain. When you’re a pastor you never really know who your friends are. It’s a pretty lonely existence much of the time. 

Tom’s question really tapped into something that I didn’t even realize that I had been wrestling with until that moment. As I listened to everyone around that table share about how they are pretty comfortable in their own skin, I came to the shattering conclusion that I wasn’t. You see, I don’t fit anywhere. I’m a pastor so my friends who aren’t really “church” people get weird around me. I’m also on a journey where I’m growing dissatisfied with the Christian institutions that I see around me. So, I don’t really fit with many of my colleagues or many church folks either. The thing is, I’m not comfortable in my own skin. I’m in a process right now where a lot of my sacred cows are being tossed and many of presuppositions about so many things are being shattered. 

Tuesday night allowed me to verbalize what is going on me. Why? Because someone asked. Legitimately asked me. The floodgates opened. 

Then something happened that has left me bewildered: The people around that table pastored me. They came alongside me and asked questions, gave insight, and invited me into further conversations. 

This past Tuesday night Doubt on Tap became something more than a conversation. We went beyond that and entered into the realm of authentic community. It seems to me that Doubt on Tap is something beautiful and raw that doesn’t fit in the Church institutions but is what the Church is supposed to be. A gathering of broken people sharing life together and then heading out the doors a little better for it, only to return again to be changed once more. 

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